The Road from Salvation

April 7-8, 2031

A case came to the attention of the company in which a young girl named Kathy Hanlon had been kidnapped. Bright green fur was found at the scene, suggesting something beyond the normal comprehension of the police. Further, Kathy’s brother and guardian, Karim, remembered hearing a deep voice singing strange music, perhaps followed by “Bye, I’m Jonas.” The latter clue led the police to label Jonas Ambrosius Pearson as a person of interest, given his convictions about the supernatural, involvement with a prior homicide, and history of mental illness. The former clue led the company to some green fur preserved within a book in Dean’s collection, chronicling a medieval demon slayer’s pursuit of the Krümelmonster. The fur was similar, as was an account of children being led off by music. In fact, the company linked this text to events in 13th century Germany, as recounted in “The Pied Piper of Hamelin.” Through some online research and with the help of the talented cybervangelist David Starsky, the company were led to the home of a Connecticut school teacher and Weezer fanatic, Emily Gardener. The company infiltrated her lair, found three children— Kathy, Erin, and Patrick— and somehow simultaneously stole the children and won her trust. Of course, until the plan was complete, Jonas, Dean, and (mostly) C.C. were the object of aggression for an indestructible green monster. From there, it became slowly clear that she had contracted her curse from Rivers Cuomo, frontman for Weezer. It seemed that he was the original pied piper, and had taken inspiration for his current form from the Weser River in Germany. The company immediately traveled to Cleveland, the site of the most recent Weezer concert, where they confronted Cuomo. Back in the city, Dean was tasked with keeping the children— who apparently had also fallen under the curse— sedated. In Cleveland, Cuomo quickly caught on that the company did not have his best intentions at heart (Arthur shot him in the chest), and transformed into a huge, multicolored, shaggy horror. Cuomo beat on the company, swallowed C.C., and was not slowed by the several bullets put into him. The day was saved, though, when C.C. hurled his heart/mystical-ball-of-yarn out of a large bullet hole and Jonas hastily unwound it. The party walked away from Cuomo’s dead human form, suspecting that this would be written off as a drug overdose. The curse lifted from the children, who retain a pretty hazy memory of the events, while Emily was returned to the body of a fourteen-year-old and was provided with some new identity information by Dean. Nate, previously involved in keeping the police away from Jonas, had some final insight on the true nature of the krümelmonster, gained from being raised bilingual.

The World's Fastest Roller Coaster
April 2-3, 2031

As Nathan’s monitoring program caught wind of another disturbance, everyone seemed to be having their own issues. Content Not Found: Anya_ and Arthur were missing without any explanation. Jonas was in jail, having left a pair of prints at last week’s murder scene. The Murdochs got called into service of their country and were tasked with opening a mystery package for a foreign archaeologist. Nathan’s mother started to wonder where he gets to after school, and her prying got in the way of the tight-lipped adolescent. Things became worse for the group when Anya could not be reached, Jonas ran out of meds and started talking to coffee cups, Nathan’s mom discovered Dean doing drugs while touring the office, Sean started lusting after the visiting scientist, and C.C. needed to work around her homicidal jealousy. Eventually, Arthur came back on the radar, Jonas was released, Nathan accepted a new chaperon, and the Murdochs left the mystery box sit while they joined the investigation of a phantom roller coaster. The company found another mysterious, shadowy figure (See: Just a Fluke) atop the Cyclone roller coaster and witnessed a curious phenomenon. Following some intense rumbling, a twinned image appeared. Squashed, orange roller coaster cars appeared from nothingness, slowly sliding along the steel rails. Simultaneously, an elongated blue-green set of cars sped backwards from the same point in space. As they traveled, they faded back into nothingness. The physicists of the group offered the possibility that this was an object moving faster than the speed of light and/or backwards in time. Then, to up the ante for things that shouldn’t happen, Sean rigged up a jet pack for cripply Arthur, who tried to interact with the dark, unresponsive figure. Sufficiently provoked, the hooded figure lashed out at Demus, and fell to his demise. Shadows billowed out of his sleeves, and nothing other than old clothes were left behind. These clothes were scrutinized; at least one article came from Darias Corpsman’s closet. Another was a T-Shirt for a performance by the band “Gibbous” that would occur at the end of the week. More time travel? No. The printing company that did the shirts was located in Tribeca and, as it turned out, there were a small group of those shadowy guys hidden beneath, worshiping. Jonas’ appraisal: this was the cult of Content Not Found: Trivia, the Roman goddess of childbirth, sorcery, death, and the triple crossroads; the company also learned that she had sent one of her shades out to kill again! Her next target was one roldover" class=“wiki-content-link”>Lewis Roldover, noted entomologist, and apparently not demon-infested. Further, Nate uncovered C.C.‘s secret communications with the dark power! C.C. admitted that yes, she had been in contact with Trivia for some time, and that certain deals had been struck, but that she wasn’t in league with Trivia, per se. While Sean developed some improvised firepower to take out this group, Arthur stormed in, a whirlwind of supplication, and made friends with the Queen of Ghosts. For now.

Just a Fluke
March 17-28, 2031

The company settled the business with the newly awakened magicians, settled into their new office space and met the caretaker/former owner of the facility, Dean. Plans were made to try to expand their space, and software was put in place to monitor emergency personnel traffic for unusual happenings. And for a little while, nothing happened. The fledgling adventurers trained up, rested, drank heavily, and did homework. After a week and a half, the monitoring software hit on something, and the team investigated a screaming Content Not Found: Darias_Corpsman_ being transported from the scene of a burglary/homicide. When they arrived, though, the medical examiner had been killed. Some arcane research and two autopsies later, it was concluded that this was the work of a Barbed Fluke, a species of parasitic demon. The company investigated the home of the first murder victim, a noted food critic; they found very little missing, but the computer had been destroyed. On the cleaned up security footage, the murderer didn’t even look human. After the victim’s files were re-assembled and reviewed, his recent rave sent them in the direction of an all-organic restaurant called Frantique, specializing in cheap Sicialian-style snails. Effective interview techniques, deductive reasoning and mental telepathy led the company to conclude that the owner of this restaurant had been possessed by a barbed fluke and raised fluke-infested snails in his basement. They dispatched this parasitic mastermind, and sent tiny robots to deal with the dangerous, numerous, devil snailsfin.jpg.

Running Blind
March 17, 2031

The group was summoned to a meeting on Monday night, where they were met by a representative of Fox-Apple. Also at the meeting were assembled suits representing a confederacy of corporations. Apparently one of the members saw fit to bring her kid to this secret meeting in a fortified location. It was agreed amongst these powers that a group investigating the supernatural would be useful. They care deeply about the public good, and want the group to investigate, protect, but keep their mouths shut. Suddenly, as if a spell was lifted, the suits began to notice the random Latino kid in a (debatably colored) bucket hat. The lights go out across the city; someone— apparently the kid, identified as Eleggua, an orisha of Santeria— has hacked Con Edison. The group got through the blast doors of this too-secure conference room, and found Content Not Found: Sariel_Joplin_ in a cloud of “Mystic Mist.”
Apparently, she was a practicing Wiccan, knew a handful of real spells, but was never aware that she possessed actual magical power. The stars serve many casters as a way to access the supernatural; our view of the universe holds secrets for those who can see them, and this was the first time New York was shown its stars since before the turn of the century. She was talked down from her panicked protection spell, and the group was free from the building. As their first mandated task, The Paranoia Company tracked down surprised people who were manifesting their new-found power. This included a Catholic priest, an aging geek, a Buddhist monk, and an Content Not Found: DallasJang
. The first three peacefully made their way to the company’s new office, and the fourth ended up in the hospital.

Escape This Summer
(March 14-15th, 2031)

Unconvinced that the two techies from the first paranormal investigation have enough relevant skills to make their salaries worthwhile, Content Not Found: Rem_Turner_ asked Caroline and Sean Murdoch to be part of a second investigation. Unknown to them, he asked more reasonably priced Content Not Found: NateTompkin and Anya to join the group in order to compare their usefulness. Rem had Fox-Apple interested in the project and finished construction of his blog, Rem Turner’s Paranoia Co. In a show of good faith, Fox-Apple fed him a tip from one of their news affiliates that there were reports of a unidentified flying object crashing into the slums of Red Hook. The group found their way to a playground in the heart of territory claimed by the Quills, a gang known to sport crude body modifications. They fought their way past a angry Quill to the small craft. Inside were two corpses covered in a thin fur, as well as mysterious alien artifacts. The only functioning control onboard was one to engage the engine; however, this ignition button just made a deep engine-not-really-working noise. Investigating further, the group found two revealing pieces of information. The introns within the aliens’ genomes were a repeating message: ESCAPE THIS SUMMER. Also, cutting a hole into the floor, the engine sound was discovered to be coming out of a large speaker. Clearly an elaborate hoax, the ship was transported to the Murdoch’s barge for further testing. Analysis confirmed that the ship was placed on site in its crashed state, that the bones and muscles for the aliens were grown in vats and then assembled to create the aliens, and is a viral website for Universal’s remake of Escape From The Planet of The Apes. The group members were initially dismayed to have been manipulated into helping Fox Apple deprive a rival studio of months of publicity, but were glad to find out that the Universal agreement provides the finder(s) of their artifact with %1 final script revision rights and %1 of all total royalties*. And then dismayed again when Rem Turner asserted that since they were on the job at the time, the profits will be going to fund the business.

Numbers Game
(March 8-11, 2031)

Content Not Found: Rem_Turner_ approached four individuals with a business proposal (Content Not Found: Arthur_Demus_, Jonas Pearson, Dr. Caroline Murdoch, and Dr. Sean Murdoch). The pitch: they’d go out and try to debunk a supernatural event, he’d fictionalize it into a blog, and then sell it to Fox-Apple. If they discovered something truly supernatural, it’d be even more lucrative. The job: New York City Councilman _Content Not Found: BenjaminRomero was getting bad press because he retained a spiritual adviser. The group turned up a name for the adviser (Jayden Lubinski) and a phone number. It was quickly obvious that he practiced a form of numerology, and his ritual technique was very good; however, he wielded no actual power. Once they saw through his scam, he admitted that though he did often fake readings, sometimes his fortunes were legit. The group had him give a reading to his mother in Ossining, whom Jayden claimed a higher success rate with. This was a dead end, but on the ride back, Jayden was attacked by a hired Lolthug. This threat was quickly dispatched, but moments later the train passed through a powerful magical anomaly, providing Jayden power for his legitimate magical knowledge. He perceived a decreasing sequence of numbers and, lo and behold, the thug was carrying a bomb set to go off when he fell unconscious! (He couldn’t have known about that… could he?) The bomb was discovered and defused in the nick of time, and everyone went home happy. Further research revealed a three-way crossroads outside the town of Sleepy Hollow to be the center of this “mana hill,” AND that the Councilman himself is a font of magical energy (maybe that’s why he gets re-elected). The newly formed group awaits an answer from Fox-Apple, but the story about a legitimate fortune teller did not make it to the evening news.


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